tellement

Personne ne croit plus aux sorciéres

Ne t'inquiéte pas je saurai me taire

D'etre pour toi ton homme

A tout faire

Tu m'as manqué tellement, tellement

Je n'aurais jamais cru autant

Tu m'as manqué tellement, tellement

J'arrive a me demander

M'aurais-tu ensorcelé

tourjours

milk.

"If Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he'd want me to say to all the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are less by their churches or by the government or by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value. And that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you. And that very soon I promise you, you will ahve equal rights federally across this great nation of ours."- Dustin Lance Black

the breakup.

the city of chicago and I are breaking up. we've been in this abusive relationship (it's my chris brown...too soon?)for three years now and I am finally calling it quits. unfortunately I technically still have to live here for one year. whoops.

besides the snow storm that happened today, the red line decided it wasn't going to run southbound tonight, so the CTA man told me I would be okay if I took the brown line home. false. a 20 year old girl walking by herself at 1230am through the streets of chicago is not ok. after walking four blocks the wrong way because it was safer than walking the right direction I had to start trekking towards my apartment. well I passed basically every night club/bar in downtown chicago, where every drunk man was outside and felt the need to cat call me or attempt to get me to come home with him. once again false. I'm pretty sure I heard "aye mamiiii where are you goin tonight, come here" at least four times.

now I understand this will mostly likely still occur in LA but at least it will be warm and I wont be trudging through the snow and wind. 

it's time to go.

lighthouse

"It's Saturday morning and I just read your e-mail. As usual the depth of your self-understanding awes me, as does the struggle of your soul to evolve and become. I understand everything you said. how do we get loved when we don't appear to need love? How do we get held when we seem to be self-sufficient? How do we get attention when everything's okay?...I am me, myself, separate matter.  I alternate between desires to go on mad drinking binges or a fucking binge or just to die...Coming to our loneliness, our death. Not being afraid or uneasy with it.  And you're right- love is the only salve/ It makes this journey into the center of our self aloneness bearable. I love you. And as Rilke says, I stand as a guardian of your solitude.  That's what friends do- they see and honor each other's separate solitude. I want to reach in there sometimes and rescue you from the terrible pain of this aching separteness, but that would be undermining you, stripping you of your strength and value. So we bear witness to each other's standing tall.  And I respect you as deeply as I have ever respected anyone. And I know you will eventually feel comfortable standing by yourself surrounded by those of us who see your insane beauty and brilliance and kindness and deep shiny black hair."

-another excerpt from the book of essays 

Clark Gable

"This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to do for them, again and again, as many times as is necessary. For example, in your case you always forget who you are and how much you're loved. So what I do for you as your friend is remind you who you are and tell you how much I love you. And this isn't any kind of burden for me, because I love who you are very much. Every time I remind you, I get to remember you, which is my pleasure."

taken from a book of short essays

Hugs

It's free hug day, which is my favorite day. 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Enjoy.

I love you.